This was a much requested piece on Threads - does anyone else love that platform?? So here goes.
I am writing this list whilst simultaneously listening to ‘Fearless’ Taylor’s Version and the barking of a deer in the background - I have had a rich and kinda varied life so far - my latter teens where busy and my twenties were hectic until I had a psychotic episode and the last ten years have been spend living quietly in rural Suffolk. I have had serious FOMO for London (the complexity of the city is too much for me these days) but am now weirdly at peace with my FOMO.
The only place to go from rock bottom is up -
Tidying your space equates to a tidy mind - something I am still learning.
Relish your twenties and thirties body - just relish your body.
It is ok not to want children.
Rejection is redirection.
Your mental health directly affects your body.
Don’t look back - you aren’t going that way.
You can listen to all the self help podcasts you want - but the only bringer of change is you.
Nothing changes if nothing changes.
The lessons you didn’t learn in the past will keep repeating themselves - until you have learned said lesson.
French pharmacy skincare brands are superior to British ones.
Nostalgia is useful but don’t let a hankering for the past hinder your present.
Find a daily grounding practice. Mine is walking round the village each morning (except in the heat/snow).
You don’t need brand new things all the time - thrifting is the way forward.
Nurture both old and new friendships - people are precious.
Wear the good stuff even if it’s a basic day.
What fits you might not suit someone else - case in point I knit to soothe myself and my anxiety whilst others read books.
Don’t buy scent/perfume blind or from a description on the website.
Taste changes - one minute you are a maximalist then when it comes to the crunch you are a minimalist.
Start small - you can dream big - but small actionable steps are better than giant hopeful leaps i.e. “You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step” - Martin Luther King Jr.
London: is a constantly changing metropolis. Sometimes you recognise it and sometimes you don’t.
Getting involved in community groups/organisations is the best way to ground down and meet new people in real life.
Dating apps are useless - put more energy into your local surroundings.
If your instincts say that someone’s vibe is off then they are probably right.
Something that looks too good to be true probably is - and is flawed in some respect.
Your interests can and will change - that which interested you at the age of 22 might not be your calling at the age of 32.
There are many different shades of counselor/ therapist - it is worth shopping around and not settling.
Don’t just journal - write all the shit that comes out of your head - don’t pussyfoot around the bad stuff - you can always “burn the journal” before anyone gets hold of your writing (this is my plan).
Try and figure out ways to calm and soothe parts of yourself which are out of whack. You don’t know which inner child is running your life. Currently writing this to the Sugababes Glastonbury set and my inner teenager is quelled.
On a more superficial note having your colours done is pretty enlightening.
You don’t need the shiny new workout gear for a yoga/pilates/dance class.
Spend as much time as humanly possible with those you value and love the most - you never know when they will be gone.
Listen to your instincts - they will usually be right about the situation in hand.
Stop. Take a deep breath. If everyone is telling you what to do - centre yourself and figure out what you need.
What you want and what you need are two very disparate things.
Moon phases mean things - the moon controls tides and as humans we are 80% water so it’s not weird to be affected by the full moon. The new moon is this week on Friday!
Woo woo spiritual things are great but don’t escape into them, stay present.
If he/she is into you - you would know it. Don’t hang around waiting for godot.